Here's the tricky thing about this blog writing business....I feel reticent to post sometimes, as I am not sure what, exactly, my purpose is in writing this blog. I read several truly excellent blogs written by some of my friends, and they post any number of wonderful essays about the challenges of raising their families, dealing with unexpected health crises, struggles in the world of academia, etc. I just sort of...ramble. I remember my intention was to write about my "new life" as a mid-40s divorced woman and mom of three kids, starting back in to the professional world, and maybe even (gasp) dating. But it turns out that my life moves rather slowly, on the whole, and milestones in the above areas are few and far between. There is much that happens in my life, but it's just....life. Challenges come, (none -- and I mean NONE -- as daunting as those my dear friend Pennsy faces, with great wit, style, and an incredible, unshakable faith). My children are no longer at the "say cute things" revelatory stages several of my other bloggy friends' children are. My career is more just a job, and one barely sustaining us, so what's to write about there? As for me -- still rather overweight, rather undisciplined, rather spiritually parched at the moment, and pretty much creatively tapped out. I am not in a theatre production, not tirelessly supporting a candidate I believe in, not redecorating my home with cast-offs that turn out to be hidden treasures, not spearheading the research campaign into a new medical horizon...not doing much of anything really exciting. The big whoopty yesterday was that I managed to put together a meal all three of us ate, and no one complained. Who wants to read about that?
And yet - I do have points of view. I feel things, all sorts of things. I do care about issues of the day -- when I can find time to educate myself about them. I juggle all sorts of things and do many things horribly and a few things well. I fiercely love my family, and I do wish for a career to come my way that would sustain me intellectually, financially, and responsibly. Who doesn't? But is that enough to warrant a blog? Does not having a set theme for my blog mean that it's not worth having at all? If what I really need is a journal, maybe I should save the bandwidth for someone else.....
I do like the process of writing; quite a lot in fact. At least 5 times a day I long to BE an actual writer of actual books, so I could make a living whilst still being able to make the kids' games and schedule a mammogram without feeling like I am letting the office manager down. But does me liking the act of writing justify me having a blog?
I know I have a voice, and I know I have a right to have that voice. But does that mean I have a right to be heard, if it may be that I really have nothing of import to say?