Wednesday, December 7, 2011

WE wish you a Merry Christmas....

WE, WE, WE wish you a Merry Christmas! WE seems to be everywhere, hitting me right in the heart.

Funny, but last year it didn't bother me so much, but this year, I am getting we'ed all over, and it smarts.

Little things - Mr. Hate on the phone, discussing shopping plans - "not sure where WE are going..."

A man in church, up at the altar rail. Puts his hand on his wife's shoulder, whispers in her ear, they laugh.

"WE are going to my mom's for Christmas"
"WE always go to Lasallette...."
" WE do this secret thing for the kids..."

Christmas card photos showing families in fun outifts by the tree.
Happy families shopping, men and women holding hands at the pagaents, driving in cars as a family.
I miss that.

All around me are people who are dating again. Everyone tells me I should. I should. Should I? I am lonely. I would like to have love in my life again.

But I am terrified too. The last time I went on a date I was 24 years old. The women at my office go on dates and regale me with tales of absolute horror shows and losers that cheat, lie,steal, enough to keep me locked at home for the next 20 years. ugh.

Why would I want to do that? Just so "we" could wish you a Merry Christmas?

No, of course not. Not just that. I want to feel a hand on my shoulder. I want someone to smile that smile at me. I want to have someone to ride in a car with. To talk to. To be ME with.

For now, I wish ME a Merry Christmas!

1 comment:

  1. This time of year does make so many things harder... but once when I was single and feeling sad about it, I read a book that said, basically, that the one thing you can be sure of is that Mr. Right won't drop down your chimney if you're in your pajamas eating a pint of Ben and Jerry's on the couch on Saturday night. Don't get too far ahead of yourself. Just get out a little - that's the first goal - and see how the rest unfolds. xxoo